BanjoKazooie: The Insane Adventure
by Mr. BuSa xD '94
Summary: A very, very crazy adventure with Banjo and Kazooie. Read it, it's cool. READ OR I'LL THROW YOU A GRENADE EGG! ZOMG, I'M KRAZAH!
1. The Return of Grunty

**Banjo Kazooie:**

**The Insane Adventure**

_Author's Note:_

I don't own Banjo, Kazooie or any Banjo-Kazooie Character. They're copyright Rareware. All rights reserved.

_Author's Note # 2:_

Some facts needed to be changed from the Banjo-Kazooie series so that they match with this fanfic. They're the following:

- Banjo-Tooie and Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge never existed, making this fanfic a direct sequel to Banjo-Kazooie.

- There are only 10 Jiggies left around the Banjo-Kazooie world. The other 90 (they were 100 in the Banjo-Kazooie game) are tightly stuck at the puzzles in Grunty's Lair (remember what Bottles said? That "If you fill all the empty spaces, you can't take a piece out of it!"

- This 10 Jiggies were been used to power up Grunty's invention (if you don't know what invention I'm talking about, you haven't even played the Banjo-Kazooie game. And if you have played, you're just plain dumb).

- The top of the tower of Grunty's Lair exploded after the final battle.

- The 10 Jiggies were scattered around thanks to the explosion.

- Klungo survived the explosion.

If you keep that in your mind, you'll understand the fanfic. If you don't, well, you are just plain dumb. Now for chapter one.

Chapter # 1:

The Return of Gruntilda.

It's 2:30 a.m., Bnajo is sleeping in his bed as Kazooie is sleeping on Tooty's bed because Tooty moved to The City (yeah, that's the name of the city). It has been a month since they exploded the top of the tower of Gruntilda's Lair, making Gruntilda fall from there and then being smashed by a rock (if the fall wasn't enough...). Now, she managed to project her spirit out of her dead, imobile body.

"Finally, I'll show to that bear bastard and that bird bitch, that you should not play with a witch! Damm, why the fuck do I need to talk in rhymes!!!"

She goes looking for a new body so she can wreck havoc around the world again.

On the other day, Banjo wakes up and turn on the TV. The News Channel is on.

"Oh, no! Not the morning news!!!"

He's ready to change the channel when he hears something interesting.

"...And now with the news of the destruction of a large part of The City..."

"Damm! Thats where Tooty lives!!!"

"...Witnesses report that they sighted a ghost that looked like a witch and they claim that it was the cause of the destruction. Others say that she left with a yellow bear girl..."

"That's Tooty! And the ghost witch is probably Gruntilda!!!"

"What's up, Banjed..What's cracking ya up?"

"Grunty's ghost kidnapped Tooty!!!"

"Again? Damm, that witch bitch must be short on ideas, huh?"

"Yeah, talk about it...And we can't do the same we did before because now she's a ghost! We can't harm her!"

"Yeah, that's true...Wait! We need to be quick!! She will problably start looking for the remaning 10 Jiggies so she can rebulid hher machine and "change" bodies with Tooty!"

"But Grunty's just a ghost now...She don't have body to swap with Tooty.."

"That's the idea, dumbcracker!!! She will get a body for her using Tooty's beauty and Tooty will end up as a ghost!!"

"OH!!!"

"Yeah, talk about an unfair trade, huh?"

"Damm, we need to be fucking quick!!!"

"Talk 'bout it!!"

"Let's go!!!"

"What? Now?!"

"Yeah!!!"

"The fuck!! I stiil didn't have breakfast!!!"

* * *

Damm, it's so freaking hard to create Grunty's rhymes!!! (that's why her rhyme was so lame in this chapter )

Anyways...ONOES!!! TOOTY GOT KIDNAPPED!!! "Again?" You think. "How short of ideas you are!!!" You shout against me. But noooo!!! This time it will be different!!! It's not about swapping bodies, it's about... A-HA!!!! You tought for a moment that I would spill the beans, huh? Noooo!!!! I won't, I'll let the story rolls...

I know, the chapter is lame but I couldn't think of something funny to do. I already have the ideas to the next chapters and they're funnier than that. But if you find it funny anyway, thanks!


	2. The clue for a Jiggy

**Banjo-Kazooie:**

**The Insane Adventure**

Chapter # 2:

The clue for a Jiggy

Banjo told Kazooie that they wouldn't stay another second on his house so Kazooie eated a Big Mac for breakfast and they headed off to the city where Tooty lived. Arriving there, they searched for clues or any hints about Grunty's current hideout. They ended up in a suspicious building east of The City.

"Well, Kazooie... I think it's here." Says Banjo. "See Grunty's minions guarding the front door?"

"Yes, I do." Answered Kazooi. "You think, by any chances, that I'd be blind?!"

"No, I didn't."

"It seems that we cant enter by the front door if we don't want to cause any problems."

"Are you recommending a rear entry?!"

They stare at each other then start laughing their respective asses off.

"WHA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!"

That attract the minions attention.

"Damm, we are really fucked up here, doesn't it?" Says Kazooie.

"Not yet." Says Banjo, grabbing her neck.

"Whaddahelll!!!!!!!!! Drop mah neck, biatch!!!!"

"Shut up and spit an egg already!!!!" Says Banjo, pointing her face against one of the minions.

"Alrighty them..." Now imagine some noises like the ones you do when you pull up a catarrh to spit on and them imagine Kazooie spitting an egg.

BAM!!! The egg hits the minion straight in the face.

"IN YA FACE, BIATCH!!!" Yells Kazooie.

"Shut up and pull up another egg!!!" Says Banjo.

And them, again, the egg hits the other minion in the face.

"There! Now we can enter by the front door!!!!" Says Kazooie.

"Yeah, but still...No!"

"Alrighty then, lets do the rear entry." Says Kazooie.

Ankward moment then...

"WHA-HA-HA-HA!!!!"

"Alright then, lets go..."

They do the rear entry (WHA-HA-HA-HA!!!!) and climb the building, egging down (egging?!) every minion they find. Reaching the top of the building, they found a fat figure wearing witch clothes.

"Grunty?!" Asks Banjo.

"No..." Says a gruesome voice. "♪ Guess who's back?! Back Again?! Klungo's back!!! Tell a friend! ♪"

"What the eff? Klungo!!!" Yells Kazooie.

"Yeah!!!! I'm back in action, crazah fucks!!!"

"Let's show him some action, Kazooie." Says Banjo.

"You got that right!!!"

"Shin-Pu-Xiao-Doken!!!!!!!" Yells Banjo, before going Whoop-Ass Style over Klungo.

"Goddayum!!!" Yells Klungo.

"Toshiba-Sashimi-Nakasaki-Kamikaze!!!! Or, in english, Super-Duper Beak Buster!!!!"

Kazooie dashes against Klungo's chest, throwing him butt first in the floor.

"Already, Dope-headed Hulk. Tell us, where is she?!" Asks Kazooie.

"She who?"

"She, Grunty!!!"

"Oh, mistresss!!!"

"Oh, come on!!! You weren't talking shitty like that before!!!"

"Shitty how?"

"Shitty like thisss!!!"

"Oh, yeah, that. Alrighty, I'll stop."

"You're not answering my question, Lettuce Boy!!!!"

"I'm not talking for, like, 15 minutes!!!" Says Banjo.

"Shut up, Banjo!!" Say Kazooie and Klungo, simultaneously.

"Now, where is her?!" Yells Kazooie, raising a fist to Klungo.

"AHHH!!! Don't hit me!!!!! She's heading to a city on shore called Davy Jones Beach!!!! She told me something about a Jiggy that one of her workers have found!!!"

"Hmm...A Jiggy, huh?" Says Kazooie. "Thanks anyway!!!" And hits Klungo across the face.

"Well. That worked. When will we go?"

"Right now!!!"

"Wow!!! It doesn't look like the same Kazooi of this morning!"

"I hate starting adventures but after that happens, I can't stop until it's finished..."

"Alrighty then!!!"

* * *

WHOOO!!!! ACTION!!! Not much, but... Well, anyways...

And now the adventure starts!!! They know the location of the first Jiggy (as so as Grunty... ¬¬)

And **SPOILER ALERT Some Pirates of the Caribbean-like adventure!!!**

That's it!!! Peace out.


End file.
